Learn how to stop the toxic spread of negativity!
Dr. Michelle Kmiec, Founder OHH
We all have many types of friends, some make us laugh, others offer amazing advice, and then there are those we know we can count on no matter what the situation. There are also those who are constantly negative about anything and everything. Though these pessimistic friends completely drain our energy, for some reason we continue to maintain the friendships.
And if we are not careful, it is all too easy to allow ourselves to also fall into these negative states.
Let me use an analogy to illustrate this point. Think about someone who smokes cigarettes. Although it is within this person’s right to smoke, the fact of the matter is that the smoke does not stay within the confines of that individual, but rather spreads to a larger radius that affects others who are in the path of the smoke.
So whether these other people want to smell the smoke or not is irrelevant, because as a result of one person’s actions they now have to endure the smell of the smoke – and not just the smell, the toxic chemicals as well. This is much like how the negative energy of one person can spread to others in his or her path.
Though the smoke comes and goes, the harmful chemicals remain within the unsuspecting victim, much like negative energy is passed from one person to another – and that negative energy expresses within the body as stress! And this type of stress can lead to:
- Low self-esteem
- Pain Syndromes
- Adrenal fatigue
- Hormonal changes
…and eventually, it can lead to more serious illnesses.
Look at it this way, have you ever known a person to become sick as a result of being overly positive and optimistic? Have you ever said, “I laughed so hard it depressed me”?
And though this is no big surprise, there are many studies to prove that stress caused by negativity lowers your immune system. Some of these studies were performed by Suzanne Segerstrom, Ph.D., of the University of Kentucky, and Gregory Miller, Ph.D., of the University of British Columbia. As reported from the American Psychological Association:
“Their meta-analysis discerned intriguing patterns. Lab studies that stressed people for a few minutes found a burst of one type of “first responder” activity mixed with other signs of weakening. For stress of any significant duration – from a few days to a few months or years, as happens in real life – all aspects of immunity went downhill. Thus long-term or chronic stress, through too much wear and tear, can ravage the immune system.”
Have you ever finally let go of certain people in your life who are determined to spread their negativity and drama and then later feel the sense of relief that comes from freeing yourself from that destructive and life-draining energy? I am sure you have! Making this type of change in your life can be a positive game changer for sure! However…
There is an interesting obstacle that often appears. The realization that there is another source of the negativity. You!
Have you ever paid attention to your own inner chatter? It is fascinating to learn just how many negative thoughts you may have even before getting out of bed in the morning. In fact, many of us have become so accustomed to it, that we hardly blink an eye when it occurs. Or perhaps we make excuses such as “we are protecting ourselves from getting hurt by events, especially those that have not yet occurred”.
When I realized this about myself, I have to admit that I was shocked! I always considered myself a positive person so learning that I had so many negative thoughts that I had apparently adapted to stopped me in my tracks. This was something that I needed to address immediately because after regaining my health from a diagnosis of MS and years of anxiety…it appeared that I still had to confront my own inner chatter before this would affect my health…again!
I decided to carry a hand tally counter so I could easily keep track of any negative thoughts that crept into my mind. Every time I had a negative thought, I’d click the counter. Literately there were hundreds! Are you surprised there were so many? I was! How about you? Do you think you may have as many? Well before you answer that, there is an important thing to consider. Negative thoughts don’t always present themselves in an obvious manner such as, “I could never be good at that.” They are masters of deception and are often disguised. And three prominent favorite camouflages are in the form of assumptions, perceptions, and judgments. Make no mistake, we are all guilty of this.
We assume things about ourselves and others based on perceptions (often falsely) and then proceed to render our judgment. All before knowing any actual facts! Or we may make assumptions simply based on past experiences, which of course does not allow room for a possible different and positive outcome.
Once I realized this, whenever a negative thought would appear (in any disguise), and before making a judgment based on that negative thought, I would ask myself a simple question: Do I know this as a fact? Or is it an assumption? Above all, I needed to be 100% honest with myself, otherwise, I’d be opening the door to negative thoughts. Negative thoughts will never hesitate to enter your mind if allowed, and then once they are there – they will fester.
This is why it can be so difficult to maintain positive energy. It’s difficult because it requires a bit more work since the vibrational frequency of positive energy is much higher than negative energy; just like it’s easier to walk downhill than it is to walk uphill or to become out of shape and unfit than to stay fit. Staying fit requires effort, and so does maintaining a positive mood and state of mind.
But there is good news! Once you realize that you can tame those negative thoughts (and thus negative energy) a new world will open up to you right before your eyes! Just by being aware of the negative thoughts that you have, and the fact that they can be disguised, you can begin the process of freeing yourself from them. There are now times when I am able to laugh at certain negative thoughts because, in reality, they are so completely ridiculous and out of character for me. The ability to do this causes them to retreat instantly!
Another way to look at it is to imagine those thoughts as an actual person who is constantly talking this way all day and all night. What would you tell that person? You’d tell them to shut up and get lost! Right? So why put up with it within your own mind?
And it is easier to stop that inner chatter than you might think. Try this experiment right now. Likely your inner chatter has been going on all day. So take this moment to close your eyes and listen to your thoughts – focus on them, observe them. What do you hear?
I bet you were surprised that for a few seconds, all you heard was silence! This is because for a few seconds you were in complete control of your own thoughts.
Imagine the power of this!
So it is easy to see how vital it is to not only work on taming your own negative thoughts but to also surround yourself with those who strive to be positive as well. Because this is the winning combination that will raise your energy to one that is more positive all the time!
At the end of the day life is so much more than the everyday little annoyances that we allow ourselves to give too much of our time to, but rather it’s about how we grow as individuals and expand our souls, find our sense of purpose as a human being, and relish in the moments we spend loving.
Life is too beautiful and precious to let fly by unnoticed until it’s too late. So why not make today the day that you decide to make some positive changes in your life by eliminating the negativity – not only outside yourself but inside as well!
Audio Music Credit:
“When The Wind Blows” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0